Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. Learn to recognise emotional milestones, track progress in trauma recovery, and celebrate your growth along the way – 5 Minute Read
Healing Isn't Linear
Recovering from an abusive relationship and being a survivor of abuse is a journey with a lot of twists and turns. Healing isn’t always smooth sailing.
It’s common to feel like you’ve taken 10 steps backwards. You’re not alone. Getting better has its good days and its bad. There are going to be stages where you even feel you’ve plateaued.
Many believe that healing means the complete absence of pain. But in reality, healing looks like fewer frequent emotional setbacks, stronger self-awareness, the ability to regulate yourself, self-reflection, setting boundaries, and many small victories that build over time.
By the end of this post, you’ll learn how to:
- Identify signs of progress in trauma recovery
- Recognise emotional and practical healing milestones
- Celebrate your growth in meaningful ways
Recognising Your Progress: The Small Wins Matter
Emotional Milestones in Healing
Healing is often very subtle, and progress isn’t always obvious. There are several points in my healing journey where I look back and get surprised by how far I’ve come. It’s an amazing feeling when you can see the difference between what it was compared to the now.
Here are some emotional milestones that indicate you’re growing:
- Feeling less overwhelmed by past trauma. We can remember events without being as attached to them and without feeling the emotions we had when they occurred (reliving them).
- Recognising and labelling emotions instead of feeling consumed by them. We understand that emotions are passing through, and we don’t judge ourselves for having them.
- Experiencing self-compassion instead of self-blame. Knowing we did the best we could with what we knew at the time of our abuse. Realising we are a different version of ourselves now, and our past version deserves our empathy and understanding.
- Having fewer emotional flashbacks or quicker recovery times. For me, the flashbacks still occur from time to time. These can now happen with less attachment, and they pass with minimal impact.
Practical Signs of Growth
Besides emotional growth, healing can also show up in tangible ways:
- Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with others. This can be a tough one to learn, but the art of saying “no” without guilt is a big milestone.
- Engaging in new activities that once felt intimidating or impossible. Even going places on your own outside the normal scheduled errands.
- Feeling more connected to friends, family, or community. Having connections with depth and meaning with people who are your tribe.
- Making decisions based on your needs, rather than fear of disappointing others. My trauma response was typically Fawn, which made this step hard, but I’m so proud of myself when I make choices for myself now.
Shifting Mindsets: A Sign of Deep Healing
Some of the most profound signs of healing come from internal mindset shifts. These are points of joy entering your world and the release of tension you didn’t even know you constantly lived with until it is gone:
- Feeling less guilty about prioritising your well-being, time for yourself and self-care activities.
- Trusting yourself and your instincts more. Believing how you feel about things and being able to validate yourself.
- Finding moments of joy and hope in everyday life. Having little timeout moments just for you.
- Believing you are worthy of happiness and love. Feel love and care for yourself.
Celebrating Your Growth: Why Acknowledging Progress Matters
Healing is a journey that deserves recognition. This is your time, and its ok for something to be purely about you for you. Here are some ideas on how you can celebrate your progress:
Keep a Healing Journal
- Write about small victories, no matter how insignificant they seem. They’re your victories regardless of size.
- Reflect on past struggles to see how far you’ve come.
Share Your Wins
- Talk to a friend, therapist, or support group about your progress. Celebrate with one of your cheer squad!
- If comfortable, share your journey with others who may be struggling. It can help others with similar pasts see that change and healing can happen.
Treat Yourself with Kindness
- Reward milestones with self-care activities that bring you joy. A day with hot chocolate and reading, or a quiet walk on the beach. Choose something that makes your heart sing.
- Take a solo trip, buy a meaningful token, or plan a relaxing day. I do Artist Dates on a regular basis, and I can’t recommend these little solo adventures enough.
Reflect on Your Strength
- Look at past journal entries or old thoughts to see how much your mindset has changed. This really helps you learn self-reflection and understanding.
- Remind yourself that progress isn’t about perfection. It’s about growth, and it’s personal and unique.
Final Thoughts: Embracing the Healing Journey
Healing isn’t about reaching a destination. It’s about recognising and appreciating your growth and building the life you want and how you want to be in it, at a pace that’s sustainable. No judgement and no rush.
Healing is the connection of events, which could include setting boundaries, reclaiming your self-worth, learning self-love, and finding your joy.
Remember to look back at the journey you’ve taken to see your growth, rather than the goal you have for yourself in the future. Growth is in the path you’ve already travelled rather than the goal ahead.
What small sign of healing have you noticed in yourself lately? Please let me know in the comments below.
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FAQs
Q: How do I know if I’m making progress in my healing journey?
Progress isn’t about the absence of pain. It’s about responding to challenges with resilience, recognising emotions, and feeling more in control of your healing.
Q: What does healing look like beyond the absence of pain?
Healing means reclaiming self-worth, making time for yourself, forming healthier relationships, setting boundaries, and embracing personal growth. Even when setbacks happen.
Q: How can I celebrate and stay motivated when healing feels slow?
Track small wins in a journal, share your progress with a trusted friend, and remind yourself that healing is about progress, not perfection.
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Nadine Brown
As a survivor of emotional and physical abuse, I know firsthand how difficult the healing journey can be. I created The Resilient Blueprint as a passion project—an accessible resource hub designed to empower others on their path to recovery. My goal is to provide survivors with the knowledge, tools, and support they need to reclaim their lives.
