Why does this book have the greatest impact on understanding how you heal from trauma after an abusive relationship? – 10 Minute Read
When I made the decision to start healing myself, I looked for tools and resources. Everywhere I looked, a book called The Body Keeps the Score popped up and was recommended.
I gotta admit, at first, I had no interest in reading it, and I couldn’t even tell you why! I just thought, what about this book could be the cornerstone of understanding the impact of trauma?
Little did I know, it had everything to do with learning about what was happening in my mind and body and some of the best ways I could combat what I was going through.
Like many others, I have suffered extended abuse, which led to trauma that didn’t allow my body to just “move on” once I was safe.
Bessel van der Kolk provides his insights regarding that exact issue in The Body Keeps the Score. It gave me so many “ah-ha!” moments. I had dismissed this book for a long time, and it would have been a lot easier on me if I’d read it sooner!
Van der Kolk’s research demonstrates that trauma lives in the body, not just in memories, profoundly impacting healing, particularly for survivors of domestic abuse trauma.
By the end of this post, you’ll understand why this book is essential reading when you’re healing, why van der Kolk’s work is transformative, and how these insights can powerfully influence and help you understand your healing process.
Who Is Bessel van der Kolk?
Bessel van der Kolk is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and co-founder of the Trauma Research Foundation (TRF). His early work on Vietnam War veterans significantly shaped PTSD’s diagnosis criteria in the official book used by Psychiatry – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Bessel has been a leader in trauma research for over 50 years. He is the leading supporter and researcher who has provided scientific evidence to support trauma healing by building self-worth, movement (yoga), self-compassion, mindfulness, creativity and play.
Notably, van der Kolk led pioneering randomised controlled trials (RCTs) on yoga for PTSD in 2014 and neurofeedback therapy in 2016 (Trauma Research Foundation).
Neurofeedback therapy, also known as EEG biofeedback, is a type of therapy that focuses on training brainwave activity to improve mental and physical health. It is a way of assisting the brain to “rewire” and is helpful in the effects of trauma, depression, anxiety and other disorders or symptoms.
So, yeah, he’s smart and respected in his field, and he is the one who unearthed scientific evidence that supports the techniques you can use to help you heal.
Why the Body Keeps Score is a Must Read
Van der Kolk’s research offers hope, clarity, and actionable strategies for trauma healing. The Body Keeps the Score was first published in 2014 and has remained the most-read book in relation to trauma healing since its publication.
The core messages: trauma lives in the body. How does trauma reshape the brain, mind and body, and what does science tell us about truly effective healing?
Van der Kolk’s research shows that traumatic experiences are not only remembered stories we tell ourselves, but they are also encoded in neutral circuitry, stress hormone patterns, muscle tension, posture, and even our body’s immune response.
This means that traditional talk therapy alone may not work because of the physical effects of trauma in our bodies. The traumatised brain can suffer from being stuck in a hyperalert state due to prolonged abuse, and the chronic trauma dysregulates the body’s nervous system, resulting in physical symptoms (muscle pain, fatigue, digestive and heart problems). Treating the problem at a mental level without healing the physical problems can mean slow progress.
Van der Kolk emphasises that neuroplasticity, our brain’s ability to rewire itself and once again regulate the body in a healthy way, means genuine recovery is achievable with body-oriented therapies (yoga, movement, mindfulness, play, creativity, meditation).
Key Insights
- Safety first. No healing technique works if the body still perceives a threat. The priority is being in a safe environment. The safe environment helps the body learn that peace is normal.
- Trauma resides deeply within our body’s systems. Effective trauma healing often requires “bottom-up” (body-based) approaches rather than purely cognitive (“top-down”) methods. Start with breathing, movement, and sensory awareness before deep cognitive work can be addressed. Group peer talk sessions were also found to have better healing outcomes than one-on-one therapy (obviously, this is subject to what works for you, our journeys all differ).
- Taking control of your healing and growth beats symptom suppression. The goal is to reclaim autonomy, curiosity, and play, not merely to numb flashbacks. This is about processing, not suppression.
- Community heals. Shared rhythmic activities (drumming groups, yoga classes, theatre troupes) restore the connection that trauma shattered. It rebuilds trust (in others and us), self-esteem and self-worth.
- Neuroplasticity means the brain can be rewired; trauma changes can be reversed; bodies can learn to feel safe again.
Latest Evidence Beyond the Book
The Body Keeps the Score paved the way for further studies and research that continue to affirm and expand van der Kolk’s findings.
In 2024, researchers undertook a study to determine why some people who go through childhood trauma end up with PTSD while others don’t. They wanted to look at the brains of 119 individuals and determine the difference.
They did this by using a super detailed MRI showing the brain structure and how it was working. The results showed the congestion in the brain of a PTSD sufferer, with the resulting anxiety and hypervigilant reactions captured.
The surprising outcome was that the brain patterns weren’t tied to how the study subject felt on the day. It looked more like long-term scars on the brain rather than a reaction when symptoms increased or fell.
This study showed physical evidence that trauma literally rewires how different parts of the brain talk to each other, supporting van der Kolk’s previous studies and book. What the study didn’t find was why not all people who live through traumatic events develop PTSD. Around 40% of study participants showed no signs of PTSD in their brains.
This study gives physical proof, visible on a brain scan, that trauma literally rewires how different parts of the brain talk to each other. For people with PTSD, the “replay” network is stuck on high, and the “control panel” can’t keep up. Knowing that helps explain why triggers feel overwhelming.
In early 2025, two essays in Psychology Today took van der Kolk’s concepts from the Body Keeps the Score and gave them fresh scientific teeth. The full articles are in the source links below, but I’ll give you the “in a nutshell” version.
- In a 2024 experiment, kidney-derived cells were taught a chemical pattern and later remembered it. Much like neurons in your brain would learn a song or a phone number. If ordinary body cells can form memories, then painful events like prolonged trauma could leave biochemical “footprints” all over the body, which can explain why certain triggers sometimes arrive as gut aches or muscle tension – The Body Keeps the Score. Should We? (21 January 2025).
- The second paper outlines that traumatic experiences get stamped into our biology through stress hormones, genetics and even immune changes. The basis for this theory? Case reports of transplant patients who suddenly liked their donor’s favourite food or had the donor’s recurring dreams or memories. This may support that organs carry fragments of memories and that triggers feel so physical because, in a sense, part of our memory is physical. – When the Body Remembers (27 April 2025)
The Body Keeps the Score movement has even led to public conversations about Adverse Childhood Experiences, trauma-informed schools and trauma-sensitive workplaces.
If you’re still not sure the book would be of help to you, I’d encourage you to check out the YouTube clips we have in the Resilient Blueprint’s Resources about van der Kolk’s research.
How the body keeps score on trauma
Why Van der Kolk’s Work Matters for Domestic Abuse Survivors
Understanding that trauma lives in the body can dramatically shift the healing trajectory for domestic abuse survivors.
Physical abuse, emotional manipulation, and prolonged fear significantly alter survivors’ nervous systems, leaving lasting imprints, and the scientific studies prove that.
Being curious about healing methodology beyond talk therapy opens the avenues for better healing of your brain and nervous system. By incorporating body-based approaches, you can address impacts directly and create a recovery process that works for you.
Van der Kolk’s research and findings are the reason that you will see so much information point back to physical movement and self-compassion being so important for trauma healing. His work has encouraged others to keep studying and understanding the impacts of trauma and how to reverse and heal its effects.
Your Healing Journey
Van der Kolk’s book was so important to the understanding of trauma healing as it bridged neuroscience and clinical practice, validating body-based and experiential therapies that many therapists once dismissed.
It gave survivors an understanding of how their physical symptoms related to trauma: “My body is reacting exactly as a traumatised body would.”
It provided understanding of the physical process of trauma and its massive impact on all aspects of the body and brain, and how we as a whole hold memories.
It allows us to understand that trauma healing requires a recovery that is psychological and physical.
FAQs
Q: What is the first step in trauma healing?
Recognising trauma’s physical impact is essential. Start by learning body-based techniques like grounding or gentle yoga movement.
Q: How can I tell if trauma still affects me?
Persistent anxiety, flashbacks, physical symptoms like chronic pain, or difficulty feeling safe are common indicators. The Resilient Blueprint Blog has a lot of information to help identify the effects of trauma.
Q: Why isn’t traditional talk therapy enough for trauma?
Because trauma affects the body’s nervous system, healing often requires integrating physical or somatic therapies alongside talk therapy.
Q: Why is this book worth reading? Because Bessel van der Kolk’s work shows the link between the physical and mental aspects of trauma and how physical movement and actions such as mindfulness and meditation, work alongside talk therapy to help trauma sufferers heal.
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Nadine Brown
As a survivor of emotional and physical abuse, I know firsthand how difficult the healing journey can be. I created The Resilient Blueprint as a passion project—an accessible resource hub designed to empower others on their path to recovery. My goal is to provide survivors with the knowledge, tools, and support they need to reclaim their lives.
