One of the less visible effects of abuse is what it does to your ability to trust your own thinking. When someone has spent months or years systematically questioning your perceptions and undermining your judgment, that damage doesn’t disappear the moment you leave. You can find yourself second-guessing what you know, struggling to assess situations clearly, or unsure whether what you’re sensing is real. Rebuilding trust in your own mind doesn’t happen all at once.
As a survivor writing for people who are past the immediate crisis and doing the harder, longer work of putting themselves back together, I created The Resilient Blueprint. Everything I recommend here has been vetted with our specific audience in mind.
What It MyPlan
myPlan is a free safety planning app available on iOS, Android, and in a web browser. No account or registration required. It was developed through research at Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing and is the first domestic violence app to be tested in a randomised controlled trial, with over 1,000 survivors involved in its development and testing.
The app is completely anonymous: you set your own PIN code on entry, a built-in “dummy code” hides the app’s contents if you’re forced to open it, and you can change the app icon so it doesn’t identify itself on your home screen. Core features include the Danger Assessment, a research-validated tool for understanding risk of severe or lethal violence, along with a personalised decision aid and safety planning framework tailored to your specific answers. Available in English and Spanish, with a separate Teen version. Entirely free to use.
Why It’s Here
Coercive control doesn’t just create fear; it creates doubt. Doubt in your own perceptions, your own risk assessments, your own sense of what’s real. The empowerment model that myPlan is built on treats survivors as the experts in their own lives, not as people who need to be instructed.
The Danger Assessment inside the app gives you a structured framework to consider risk you may already sense but have difficulty putting a name to. It’s particularly useful for survivors who have left but are still navigating ongoing contact with a former partner. The decision aid doesn’t tell you what to do. It helps you think clearly about what you already know. For many survivors, that’s exactly what’s been taken from them.
How It Works
Download from the App Store or Google Play, or open in a browser. Set a PIN code, then answer a short series of anonymous questions about your situation. Your answers personalise the experience. You work through a decision aid to weigh your priorities, complete the Danger Assessment to understand your level of risk, and receive a personalised safety plan with strategies relevant to your specific circumstances. No waitlists, no fees, no stored account data.
A note: the resources linked within the app are primarily US-based. If you’re in Australia, the UK, or elsewhere, the safety planning framework itself is still fully usable but verify any local resource links separately.
Who This Is For and Who It Might Not Be For
This might resonate if you:
- Have recently left and are still navigating contact with a former partner. Safety planning remains relevant well after leaving.
- Want a private, structured way to assess your level of risk and organise your thinking, without involving anyone else.
- Are supporting someone you care about who may be in a dangerous relationship, and want a discreet, evidence-based tool to share with them.
It might not be the right fit if:
- You’re past the immediate danger stage and looking for healing-focused or therapeutic support. MyPlan is a safety planning resource, not a recovery or wellbeing app.
- You’re outside the US and need locally relevant crisis or legal resources. The planning framework is universally applicable, but the linked services skew American.
